Father - Daughter Relationship

FAMILY RELATIONSHIP - Family relationship is the most important for every individual on earth. However, family conflicts hinder everything, such as jealousy and other unknown problems, particularly the relationship between the father and the daughter, mother and son, etc., but the love is still there no matter what. When I read the articles about father and daughter relationship, I cried just before the class was started but I managed to go to the bathroom to calm myself down. I intended not to make this article but I changed my mind to prove myself that I had passed through all the sorrows and mourning, as well as acceptance that one of the most important person in my life has gone forever. It took a lot of courage to write this assignment, even though it tore my heart apart.

MY FATHER IS MY IDOL - My father had passed away about a year now (the date when I wrote this, now it is about 5 years). Nevertheless, I remember exactly who he was. Furthermore, I love my father as I love myself and I idolized him when I was young and perhaps even now. He protected me from bullies, including my brothers as well as from my mother’s punishment when I made mistakes. I became a spoiled brat however I made sure that I was good in school to make him happy too. I obtained first honors from grades 2 to 4, but he never came to my commencement exercises once, which made me confused. Due to our poor living conditions, my father and my mother decided to go to the other city to find work, and because of this we rarely saw each other. My brother and I stayed home and continued our lives as happy normal kids. Once or twice a month, they would come home to bring food and pay school fees, etc. I struggled a lot in my school when I was in grade 5 because I went to a different school and maybe because most of the time, I didn’t have food to eat. I was just very thankful to my teacher who was very supportive and understood my situation so that sometimes she would bring extra food for me. So much for that, I became third honors but only especial award when I graduated in grade 6.

VERY CONFUSED - In connection with this event, my heart dropped-out for nobody attended my graduation. I saw happy faces of my co-graduates with their parents except me which made me wish and hope for I would vanish forever at that time. After what had happened, I tried to ignore and forget everything and start a new life in high school. I devoted my time to study more and maintained my rank as a number two in academic and rank one in extra-curricular activities. I really thought that, the reason why nobody showed up to my graduation was that, I was not an honors student. 

Then, my trouble begun when I was in second year high school. It was our festival. Dancing until midnight was one of the highlights of the event and of course I was there together with my friends. My mother showed up and asked me to go home. What I didn’t know was that, my father followed her. Even I knew that it was still early, I said goodbye to my friends and stepped outside the dancing hall when my father grabbed my hair, kicked my legs and gave me a strong slap on my face in front of my friends and many people. I stumbled down. I was so shocked. For the first time of my life, my father hit me like that for no reason. My life continued as normal, every time the school had events at night, I was not able to attend. Even to go out with my friends I was not allowed. There were so many big “NO'S” when it came to me otherwise he would reward me with a slap.

BATTERED DAUGHTER? I DON’T CONSIDERED AS SUCH - On the other hand, I still did great in school despite the fact that my neighbor and friends labelled me as a battered daughter but I didn’t consider it as such. Yes he did hit me, maybe once or twice every two months? I truly believed that it was not his intention to hurt me, it just happened, that was why I just laughed or maybe I’m just used to it. I love my father so much. I remember when my teacher asked me to cover and made a write about the “Enter High school Sports Tournament” as my project and practice for editorial writing contest and cartooning, it was fun indeed! However, on the way home, in front of many people, I saw him with an angry face. I composed myself not to feel nervous at the same time, my mother, brothers and the people looked worried. I looked at them one by one and smiled. I went straight to the direction of my father prepared for his action without knowing that it was not his hand who hit me but it was a piece of guava tree branch. I received the hit so many times with my body, legs, thighs and arms which made my body decorated with bruises for a couple of days. His actions continued until I graduated from college but I didn’t feel any madness towards him because I believed that someday, he would realized that what he did to me was wrong. Two years after from my graduation, I was settled to work as a high school teacher in our town. I thought that everything is fine but the history repeat.

TROUBLE MIND - I was totally confused and wanted a battle but I couldn’t. There was no courage in me to do against him. He was my father likewise I also wanted to give him a message that was enough. Until now, I still have this question why? Under those circumstances, I decided to apply to be a caregiver so that I could be away from him before my heart would stop loving him. Everything was a success, I flew to Canada with mixed emotions, I was very happy because I will have my freedom and nobody can hurt me at the same time sad because I will be away from my family and friends and the work that I love. In the long run, I still made myself believed that I am strong despite of the circumstances that I experienced which were worse than I ever expected. There were times that, I wanted to come home but I admit I am scared, so scared! Until last year, last time I spoke to him on the phone and he said he was happy, proud and prepared to die for God blessed him with loving children.

YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEART FATHER - If I can only bring back the time. I will be at your side until your last breath. For all the things that had happened between me and my father, the love is so strong. I don’t feel any grudges instead I have regrets why I did not give my time to care for him while he was very sick. I will forever regret and ask for forgiveness. Eight years we haven’t seen each other and now it is forever. I love you father, you may rest in peace!